he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
