He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
