Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
