Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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