Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
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