winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
