so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
