Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize