at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm passing your future prison.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
