i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize