I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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