I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
