watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
