do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
