so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
