ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
