is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i drank out of a bidet.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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