how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
