porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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