Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
