Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
