he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
