I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
