Dual....:-)
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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