I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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