I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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