hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
