Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
