Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
