My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
