I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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