it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
