I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
