I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
