Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
