Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
