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Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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