the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
