haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
