i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
