Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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