We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
