In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
