Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
