I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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