I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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