so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
