don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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