That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i think i just naturally attract stoners
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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