I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize