I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
