I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
