I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize