don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
