How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
