I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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