you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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