The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
