I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
