Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
