I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
