Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
