lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
