That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize