My room smells like vodka and shame
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize