Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
