ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize