i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
