the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
