Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
