i barfeds in our rink
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
