Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
