Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
